Preparation, Preservation and Poonamis: Why Planning and Parenting Are the Same Gig

Image credit: Toa Heftiba via Unsplash

Loads of people tell you what it’s like to be a parent, but it’s hard to grasp until it happens. It’s probably the most intense paradox in life -  the easiest and the hardest job, that’s both rewarding and punishing, giving you boundless energy whilst also draining you dry. Without getting too profound, the big thing I’ve felt is the gossamer things falling away and a sense of perspective appearing about both my personal life and my working life. And like any sane strategist there are some things I just couldn’t help thinking, whilst elbows deep in nappy changing, would be relevant to both. 

Do your research upfront, not on the go 

In truth nothing can really prepare you for having a baby but there’s nothing more stressful that confusing yourself with thousands on differing pieces of information whilst you’re also sleepless and desperately trying to keep a baby entertained, keep the house tidy and shovelling food in to keep yourselves alive. Every time you read something you’re like ‘ah that makes loads of sense’. Then you try it. It doesn’t work. You read another article that says the complete opposite and you’re like ‘ah that’s interesting I thought it was the other 10,000 things but this makes sense’. It doesn’t work. You fall into a spiral of questioning what’s right. 

What reading we did manage to do upfront did help, massively. Two books by Emily Oster, a very rational economist laid almost all the big discussion topics and the research out in a very objective way for you to choose your own path whilst feeling informed. The classes we did were a great chance to speak to a midwife and feel calmer about the birth, which as a result went as smoothly as 36 hours of contractions could go and we didn’t panic. In hindsight, you can never do enough in the pregnancy period to feel prepared.

The same applies to working with brands. If you’re trying to solve problems on the go without being fully informed about your audience, the category, business and cultural insights that lead you to your strategic jumping off point you will always feel more a little bit of panic when challenged or things don’t seem to be going well. If you do your research and do it well, then you and your client partners can have confidence that you’re making the right choices for the brand. 

A better you means a better parent

My wife aka the most incredible woman on earth, did one of the kindest things she could have ever done the day after we gave birth. She told me to go home. We had been awake for three days and whilst we were both in absolute heaven looking after our new son in hospital, we were strung out. It was the last thing I wanted to do. Every bone in my body wanted to stay with them, but they were safe and she was adamant that a well slept Joe, would be a better Joe for them both. 

It’s easy in our industry to get lost in the work, tirelessly solving problems and spending all your days in meetings. I suffered from burnout as I’m sure most young people do in our industry when I was in my 20’s. I went through a life change focusing on my mental and physical health to ensure it didn’t happen again. I’ve joined an agency that value their teams’ wellbeing. But it’s easy to get stuck in the cycle all over again you can forget the most important driver of success is self care. 

To be the best Joe or planner or creative or account person or designer, you need to remember that your personal wellbeing matters. At least 10% of your time needs to be spent on you. Going for a walk, having a proper lunch break, or enriching your mind by growing your knowledge base. Go to some talks. See a film. Read a book. Do anything that teaches you something new and gives you space to breathe out. 

Beware of copy paste solutions 

Within all the researching comes the idea that lots of babies have similar problems and therefore there are similar solutions. This is true to an extent but ultimately every baby is unique and you need to stop comparing your baby to others because it can become a downward spiral leading to despair. 

My son stops crying when I play ‘Ready Or Not’ by the Fugees and dance like an idiot. I didn’t read about that anywhere but you just try doing what you can to find what works. You can learn from others, but ultimately you need a bespoke way of looking after your baby. 

The same goes for brands. Beware of bottom drawer ideas. An off-the-shelf strategy does the job but might not get you the growth you need to solve your biggest challenges because it’s not harnessing the authentic power that lies at the heart of your brand. Every brand has something unique about it, whether it’s something in the history, the founder story, the organisational behaviours, the products, the role in the category or the pricing strategy. There’s so many variables that It can’t be a copy and paste solution, there has to be a nuanced narrative you’re telling that makes your brand stand out in a world where people don’t care about brands in the same way anymore. It’s vital they feel distinct and that requires distinct care and upbringing. 

Everybody don’t panic, it’s a poonami 

You hear about things like poonamis a lot in advertising because agencies think it’s funny and provocative. Let me tell you know, I didn’t find it funny when yellow English mustard spread all up the back of my son on a canal path causing him to cry uncontrollably, seeping through to my white t shirt, whilst sitting on a bench with passers by giving us the pity grimace. 

When shit literally hits the fan or when your baby is crying, it hurts you to your core. They’re a piece of you and seeing them in pain or distress is one of the most difficult parts of parenting that no one really told me about or could prepare me for. After my 10th poonami in as many weeks, I can safely say there is one thing you must do above all else…enjoy it. 

I did learn something from poonami jokes in advertising that I can apply into my working life and my new life as a dad; it’s important to find the humour in it all. Ultimately my job at home is to make sure my son has the best time possible on this planet. Which means making silly noises at him, pulling ridiculous faces, showing him new things that blow his tiny mind - essentially a children’s entertainer. 

There’s a million poonamis in our industry every week. Things are constantly going wrong or curveballs thrown at you. The worst thing we can do is take it all too seriously. Our job is a privilege. We get to go and create things from scratch with incredibly talented people from all walks of life the sole purpose of catching someone’s eye, making them smile or thinking differently about something. Sometimes people even take notice. There’s been a LOT of articles written about the humour famine in our industry and I think it has something to do with forgetting our roles as the entertainers. 

Treat your brand as if it were your child with shit up their back. Just laugh at yourself, laugh at them and enjoy the ride.